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Started a new tumblr blog.  A pictorial accounting of these adventures of mine.  This one will be more interactive in that I’m telling All my lovers about it and encouraging them submit pics and/or stories of either the two of us or their own adventures.  I’ve often wondered what it would be like if I could see my partners’ partners 🙂  This will prob be the closest I get.  It’s also a form of networking.  His Little Friend just referred one of her “innocent boy toys” to my blog…. tee hee!  Right now it’s just got some fun pics of me sweating and  misbehaving at work and  a few from  the nude beach with bunchberries (my bestie). Patagonia has agreed to play along and will be submitting some pics of his hotness soon.

Still don’t want to link these two worlds though.  I need the freedom the anonymity grants. I need the space to bitch and moan and gush and cry and jump for joy without everyone in my circle reacting to it. Patagonia was practically begging me to link him here.  No way dude. Not gonna happen. But I’d be happy to write up a shiny caption under a pic of me burying your cock in my throat 🙂  Ha!

How many of you, my sexy followers, are anonymous?  How many of you let your freak flags fly? I’m curious.

Monikers

Ok, a little side note here about monikers

Names are important.  I can’t out someone on my blog so I have to nickname them.  Pretty standard. Everybody does it.  How do we go about doing it though?  How do you sum up a person in a name.  And what do you do when it doesn’t work. How does one go about changing an established moniker?  

 

Irish was Irish because he’s Irish 🙂  I almost called him the leperachaun because he reminded me of Lucky from Lucky charms whenever he’d get excited about something.  

Patagonia was originally Craigslist Boy cause that’s where I met him. After I realized he was going to stick around, I had to choose a name that fit him. The day we met, he was wearing a patagonia jacket with a busted zipper.  He told me the story of his friend shooting some pics of him fly fishing which were then sold to Patagonia (the company) who then sent him some shwag…. and there you go. 

 The latest edit and inspiration for this post was Red. He was originally introduced as Hot Shot.  I honestly don’t know why I changed it. Now, every time I type Red it, it feels off. I hate jumping back n forth like this but I just can’t leave him with a name that has proven to be so ill suited.  

Then theres The Pro. I mean really. The Pro?! Gah. It was because I was obsessing about her hookin ways…and she’s, you know, a professional massage therapist too so…The Pro. Geesh. Still can’t think of a good one.

And of course we’ve got my all time greatest flexion of creative genius, Nice Guy. Wow, in the standard narrative, this guy is already doomed. Why even write him in if I’m just going to cast him as a red shirt. He really is nice though. Like sweet and soft spoken and…Nice. In therapy the other day I gave my guy the rundown on my sex life and mentioned Nice Guy by his moniker. Therapist suggested I call him Captain Nice Guy because it grants his niceness super-power status. I love my therapist. I think Captain Nice Guy is going to be sticking around so I had better come up with something soon.

His Little Friend gives me goose bumps every time I type it.  I may need to change it as I get to know her, but for now it stays.

The Lawyer turned out to be a dud and I politely told him to kick rocks. Don’t need to worry about that moniker.

So How does this work?  Should I go back and edit the name changes? Pretend they had never been called anything other than their most recent incarnations?  Or do I just let things evolve organically and change them as we go along….

yeah, let’s do that.  Goodbye Red! Hello again Hot Shot!

 

His Little Friend

His Little Friend texted me today.  He said she would. We’re shooting for lunch next week. The sadist in me is already thinking of ways to get her in trouble with Red.  The thought of him punishing her is beyond yummy to me. Maybe I could take her into the bathroom and take a pic of her touching herself for me…then send it to him.    Perhaps he’s already granted permission and I’ll have to step it up a notch to get her reprimanded.

 This is all premature I suppose.  It’s just a lunch date after all.  Perhaps I’ll just behave myself…Ha! Unlikely!

sexy times

Oh my what a fun week.  Work kicked my ass but I balanced it out with plenty of sexy play dates! Warning to those with squeamish  constitutions…bloody sex and  ass-play

Wednesday:  Headed down south to meet Red at his place for what turned out to be a fun and uber hot overnighter. We had a delicious dinner on the water, some tasty beer at a local brewer, then back to his place in time to catch the sunset from the back deck.  As I kicked back enjoying the view, red made himself at home between my legs. Did I mention that this man licks pussy like no other?!!  Heavenly head he gives! Anyway I came hard against his mouth just as the horn from a passing train sounded from below. Perfect timing.

I was on my moon which always makes me feel like an extra dirty girl.  Bloody handprints on white sheets and extra lube to help me take that monster cock of his.  Still thinking about his mons pubis stained crimson.  Dirty man even insisted I lick his asshole.   I so badly wished I had a harness. I wonder if he would have let me take him.

Red has a gf, His Little Friend, whom I mentioned in my  last post. The two have a pornarific tumbr blog that I just subscribed to. I want to link her here but am nervous. She would be the first to read this blog who knows who I am.

Thursday:  Another long day at work. Had planned on pulling a double but the heat got to me and I opted for a trip to the nude beach instead.  My bestie/muse and I found the perfect spot.  With Acid Arab playing over my wireless speaker (thank you Red!) we commenced drinking, swimming, and dancing on the rocks.

Friday:  Date night with Niceguy.  Moonlit swimming and an epic rope swing!  Drinks at my place and an invitation to sleep over.  Exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep in his arms.  Woke up sometime in the middle of the night and kissed him for the first time….nice, but no fireworks.. I fell back to sleep 🙂  In the morning we drank coffee and worked out in my living room.  I think I may have found my personal trainer, but a new lover? Still on the fence.  He’s pretty reserved.  My polar opposite, and generally not what turns me on. He’s really sweet and fun to be around though so we’ll see.

Saturday:  Blue grass, meteorites, and dirty dancing with The Pro. Another first kiss…This time there were some fireworks.  Still feel like taking this one slow.

 

Ok, that’s it for this week… Off to work I go.

Cast of characters in this unscripted life of mine

It’s been awhile! Too long to catch you up on everything that’s been going on, so here is a quick run-down on the who’s who in this unscripted life of mine!

The Counselor:  The Counselor and I have parted ways.  Honestly, I was infatuated and he just wasn’t that into me. It was really hard to take at first because I don’t get twitterpated easily and when I do, i fall hard!  He’s seeing someone exclusively now. A hot little number who triggers my insecurities in that she is awesome with a capital A!  Can’t blame him for falling for her, and I’m genuinely happy for him!

Irish:  Irish will be leaving for California in two weeks. We’ve had a few dates this month that have reminded me just how much I’ll be missing when he leaves.  I’m excited about visiting him though. Yet another excuse to visit San Francisco! Did I ever mention the fact that he doesn’t masturbate?! Well, he doesn’t…or should I say didn’t!  We’ve been working on some exposure therapy and it’s working wonders!  He sent me a titillating video the other night of the progress he’s made. Im so proud of him 🙂 and turned on of course!

Patagonia/Craigslist Boy:  Still seeing each other!  Who would’ve thunk it?! Must be sneaking up on six months now. I had expected us to part ways months ago, but we’ve sort of fallen into a groove and dare I say friendship.  We have tons of fun together and the sexual chemistry is still nearly as hot as night one!  Just last week while his wife was on vacation (permission to have as much fun as possible while away) we had a couple sleep overs, a nearly 400 mile motorcycle ride (in one day!), and….I let him f my a! First time in 3+ years and it was A mazing!!! Hahaha, we’ll probably breakup now 🙂

The Pro:  Ok so this one is pretty new and I’ll definitely change her moniker if we keep dating but for now….  Patagonia has had plenty of new lovers over the past 6? months, one of whom he suggested I meet.  I realized it was a thinly veiled attempt at setting up a threesome, and told him I usually don’t do that unless I’m already sleeping with both parties individually already.  So….we’ve been seeing each other for about a month now 🙂  She’s a massage therapist and….an occasional escort!  Ok, this is where I’m experiencing some cognitive dissonance.  I have NO objection to sex work or sex workers.  I think it should be legal, I think there should be brothels, and I think that every massage parlor should offer a “happy ending”.  BUT…. okay, I dont even know what the but is, but there is one.   I haven’t slept with her yet.  Not even a kiss. Lots of snuggling, hot dancing, and some rad massages, but we haven’t gotten naked. Patagonia is not sleeping with her anymore because the idea of her fucking someone for money turns him off.  It’s the money part.  He’s had sex with and continues to sleep with more women than she could ever schedule, but there it is.  The stigma. The taboo. It sort of turns me on and yet I hesitate.

Red:  Yummy.  This is my newest lover.  He’s a firefighter. Tall, handsome, strong, and hung like a goddamned pony. Seriously, I usually don’t care much about size, but holy moly…Its the biggest I’ve ever seen in person. Not only does he have an amazing  tool, he’s also the most orally gifted gent I’ve EVER been with. He’s significantly older than the rest at 44, but I find it refreshing.  My ex-husband and last ltr were both a decade older than me.  It’s really fun to fuck a MAN.

He’s in a primary relationship with a super-hot woman who lives here in town. I know she’s super-hot because she introduced herself to me the other morning while I was grabbing some coffee before work.  Ha! Red must have shown her pics. 

Anyway, he’s off fighting the fires in E. Wa and gets RnR every two wks.  He was home with her on the last break and we’ve scheduled a date for the one coming up next wk.  I’m sick with a summertime flu right now so I’m hoping to be better by then!

Nice Guy: Been on a couple dates with this fella, and still feeling him out. No sexy time yet as I’m still figuring out if I like him or not. He’s my age. Super fit ex-bodybuilder.  Not really into the whole muscle bound thing.  He builds and repairs boats/yachts and has a couple little girls.  He’s divorced and has never been in an open relationship but seems okay with my non-monogamous ways.

The Lawyer: The newest of the new.  Just started chatting this one up the other day.  He answered my latest ad on CL (the only response I found intriguing).  We’re meeting next week for our first face to face.   So far the sexting is dry but the wit is sharp.

 

So that’s that! I’ve been working hard (six days a wk 58-65hrs/wk) and playing hard!  Family life is good, school is about to start up again for all of us and I’m appreciating these homework-free days to the fullest!

Easter

 

 

 

happy easter

So the closest we came to an easter egg hunt was my youngest throwing up in the bushes at the trail head this morn.  I lined her easter basket with a plastic bag on the drive home. Not exactly how I planned the morning, but such is life right?!

I dont subscribe to easter in a religious sense, but I love a good treasure hunt!  I broke away from tradition a few years ago when we moved out of our house (with a big yard) and into the apartment.  I decided to leave the kids sleeping (I let the oldest know what was up) and head down to a secret beach with eggs in hand.  I hid the eggs amongst the kelp, drift wood and rocks along the shore.  It was the crack of dawn and my only companions were the gulls and an immature bald eagle who watched me from a giant Douglas Fir. I figured I was going to lose a few eggs to these onlookers, but finished my task and headed back to get the kiddos.  It was cold and damp that morning, so we had the entire span of beach to ourselves.  All three of the kids were totally excited. I followed them around snapping photos and dropping clues when the trail grew cold.  Once all of the eggs were discovered (minus the ones pecked and destroyed by the birds), we built a fire.  The morning warmed and the tide receded. It’s one of my favorite memories of time shared with my brood.

easter 1

Given that their dad and I take turns on holidays, I’ll not get another shot at our beach-hunt for another two years.  By then my oldest will be on the verge of his 18th birthday and my youngest will be nearly a teenager. It’s enough to make me want to cry.  They grow up so stinkin fast!

happy easter 2

tumultuous

This weekend I went to see Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana at Benaroya Hall in Seattle.  It was an incredible performance by the Seattle Symphony ,Seattle Symphony Chorale and Northwest Boychoir.  Magnificent.Beautiful. Tumultuous…

Tumultuous….this is the adjective that comes to mind when trying to describe my head space since deciding to live non-monogamously. Turbulent, passionate, lawless, and/or riotous would also work.  I’ve run the gamut of emotions often times in the course of a day!  The logistics alone involved in dating three people feels impossible at times. Throw in trying to navigate through my emotional landscape of fear, self doubt, love, lust, yearning, rejection etc…and I’m left exhausted wondering whether or not this is what I want.

What DO I want? On one hand, I want to live my fiercely independent life and see people on the side, and on my terms.  In which case I’m currently living the dream. Yet here I am yearning for more! I want love and connection and intimacy.  I want a primary partner who knows me inside and out with whom I feel safe.  A home port from which to venture out and return safely to.

Love flies everywhere, and is seized with passion.  Young men and women come together as is right.  If a girl has no boyfriend, she is quite without joy; she harbors the depths of night shut up in her inmost heart.  It is pure bitterness.

I can’t help but feel that within my innermost heart I harbor, at times, the depths of night… but I would not call it bitterness. I would call it yearning.

As it stands right now, The Counselor still considers me a friend (with the lovely benefits of course) which is really hard for me cause the pull I feel towards him is like that of the tractor beam from the Death Star it’s so fucking strong. Don’t get me wrong.  Friendship is not something I take lightly.  I don’t have many friends. I have acquaintances, but very few people (like two) I would call from the crazy train to loonyville when I need someone to talk me down (true friends). A true friendship is a precious thing.  The question I have for myself is whether or not I can handle offering friendship to someone with whom I’ve fallen desperately for.  It feels like a recipe for endless heartache.

Trying to let things flow right now and to take things as they come and as they are.